Tangential To Aludra

This post is so short, It could have been a Tweet!

2009-07-17T13:06:00.000-07:00

It took me until July 17, 2009 to realize that when I type "7-17-09", the "-09" are all in a row on the keyboard.

I Wish I Had A Better Excuse

2009-07-15T09:23:00.000-07:00

Man. I am so out of it today. I mean I'm usually out of it, but not this bad. I went to the midnight release of HP: HBP and it was great and I had a great time with my friends and I don't regret it. But you know how when you're tired and you blink your eyes get stuck on 'closed' for a little too long. Yearh, I'm at that point and it's only 11:24 AM. Not good.

I guess I'm old. Fortunately my face doesn't show it. I have no baggy/bloodshot eyes, my complexion is it's usual texture and color, and everything is normal. I managed to wake up after 4 hours of sleep, shower, take meds, dress nice, etc and get to work ON TIME! Amazing. So the only person here at work who has a clue that I'm too exhausted to think straight is myself.

Recently I've started actually drinking enough water which is causing me to use the restroom as often as is 'normal' or about 7 times a day, 4 times of which are at work. So that's like every 2 hours or so. Which means I'm extremely practiced at it. I could do the steps in my sleep.

Grab digital door key
walk to the door to exit the office
press the little red button that releases the lock
walk through the lobby and down the hall to the resteroom (20 steps ish)
pick a stall
clip digital door key to the little hook in the stall
commence releif
hook door key back on shirt
wash hands
walk back to door of main office area.
use door key
enter door
get back to personal office
remove door key from shirt and set on desk.

Dont ask why I put the door key the places I do. I don't know. But today I forgot to press the red button to release the lock, and was pushing on the door and not understanding why it didn't open. Yes, I was spotted, it was embarassing but they said nothing. Then when I was going back to my office, I got to the locked door and found that I had left my key in the stall on the hook. I walked back, got my key, and went back to the door. I couldn't remember how to open it, again. I think maybe for my own safety I should go back to bed.

But HP:HBP was so worth it.

I'm pretty sure - "no." Except for when "yes"

2009-07-09T15:06:00.000-07:00

Heisschick over at Technical Support had an interesting post. I hate leaving questions unanswered.

Is being picked for the team but never playing better than quitting?
Yes. Being part of a team is fun! Not getting to play means you also don't get hurt.

Is being in an relationship with someone who doesn't love you better than letting that person go?
No.

Is an email that doesn't say much of anything better than no contact?
Yes. ESPECIALLY if it's from a guy - particularly a guy from our fathers' generation. They just never got the hang of letters. Don't be a hater.

Is a car that requires constant maintenance better than having to take the bus?
Yes. All cars require constant maintenance, don't fool yourself. Take the bus if you like though. It's helpful on maintenance costs.

Is a job you hate better than no job at all?
No. There are other jobs out there, even in this market. Don't lose your sanity/health/relationships over a j-o-b.

Is living in a too small/dirty/noisy apartment better than living with your parents?
No. Living with the 'rents is awesome if they're like mine. I miss them.

Is bad sex better than a dry spell?
No. Painful sex is way worse than a dry spell. Trust me on that.

Is losing weight just from your tits better than not losing any?
Yes. Cuz you can at least wear men's button down shirts and look sleek.

Is a kiss that tastes like another girl better than no kiss?
Depends on if you're into that sorta thing.

Is having the ugly guy hit on you better than paying for your drinks?
Yes. Don't be dull, now.

Tubby Little Cubby All Stuffed With Fluff

2009-07-09T07:43:00.000-07:00

I really like A. A. Milne quotes, so I thought I would share some more with you. I have been contemplating what I want to do with this blog in the near future and I have some ideas. So expect some fairly different stuff later on.

"Bother."
I still use 'bother' as an expletive substitute when I'm around my parents.

"I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost. - Tigger"

"“Hallo, Rabbit,” he said, “is that you?” “Let’s pretend it isn’t,” said Rabbit, “and see what happens.”"

"“Oh Tigger, where are your manners?” “I don’t know, but I bet they’re having more fun than I am.”"

""If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together... there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you.”"

""When you wake up in the morning, Pooh," said Piglet at last, "what's the first thing you say to yourself?"
"What's for breakfast?" said Pooh. "What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?" said Piglet.
Pooh nodded thoughtfully. "It's the same thing," he said."

"The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking."

"Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. 'Pooh?' he whispered. 'Yes, Piglet?' 'Nothing,' said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand. 'I just wanted to be sure of you.'"

"Think, think, think."

A quick meme

2009-07-02T10:51:00.000-07:00

I know I've not posted in a while. I've been quite busy. I am headed out to visit family in about 45 minutes so I thought I'd do something quick, since I know you are all busy with plans this weekend, too.

1. Where were you 2 hours ago?
Right here, in this chair, clicking-typing-working.

2. What is the first blue item you see?
Like right this second? the blue banner at the top of the browser window.
Like in the day? The first blue thing I see AND actually notice is... the bits of shampoo on the shampoo bottle that drip down there inevitably.

3. Do your prefer use a pen with black or blue ink?
Oh geeze, yes. Just pen please. I'm not picky. I can't stand writing in pencil. And I majored in math. Maybe i'm a masochist deep down.

4. When was the last time you skinny dipped?
Hehe. My Junior year of high school - so about 8 years ago - omg I'm old - My friends and I went skinny dipping in a lake that we live near. And the fishies swam by my ankle and I jumped almost entirely out of the lake. That was hilarious.

5. What did your last text message say?
Friend to Me:"Yeah. I'll set an alarm so I don't forget. I hate forgetting things"
was in response to
Me to Friend: "can you pick me up at 2:30?"
and in my self-loathing subconcious it meant "you suck at remembering things i can't beleive you forgot to bring our friend a CD for her drive to Indiana and you didn't get that book from me and you just really suck". Ok yeah i have issues. I'm working on it, ok?

6. Where is your best friend?
Which one?
My mom is in Arkansas and she's been my best friend for the longest.
My second longest term best friend is in Austin or probably on her way to dallas to visit her parents.
My third longest term best friend is dead :(
My fourth longest term best friend is Patty (husband) and he's in class or else I'll kill him cuz he has a test today.
My fifth longest term best friend is probably sleeping or cleaning, she's picking me up at 2:30 though.
My sixth longest term best friend is driving to Indiana, she should be in the state that is north of Arkansas by now.

What's the point of making a person your friend if they're not going to be the best? That's what I say.

Quotes of The Week

2009-06-19T11:02:00.000-07:00

I am an avid fan of books. I love them. I love the way they feel in my hands. I love the way they smell. I love that you can drop them and they don't break. I love that my cat loves them. I love that it's an "appropriate" form of self-distraction in any setting minus work. Books are the Awesome.
Therefore it makes sense that I have a profile on Goodreads.com. I also like to peruse the quotes on said website. I want to share some with you all. I will try to keep to the less mainstream ones, so you won't be just skimming and recognizing everything, but some of my favorites you'll just have to put up with having seen before.

"Two things are infinite: The universe and human stupidity; And I'm not sure about the universe."
~Albert Einstein

"I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
~Marilyn Monroe

"Philosophy [nature] is written in that great book which ever is before our eyes -- I mean the universe -- but we cannot understand it if we do not first learn the language and grasp the symbols in which it is written. The book is written in mathematical language, and the symbols are triangles, circles and other geometrical figures, without whose help it is impossible to comprehend a single word of it; without which one wanders in vain through a dark labyrinth."
~Galileo Galilei

"For every minute you are angry you lose 60 seconds of happiness."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

And I'll leave you off with a so sweet-it's disguisting quote that after we saw Up, my husband actually paraphrased without realising winnnie the poo had said it.

"If you live to be 100, I want to live to be 100 minus 1 day so I never have to live without you."
~A.A. Milne (Winnie-the-Poo)

I hope you enjoyed these!

Thoughts Pondered By a Smartass #3

2009-06-19T09:45:00.000-07:00

How does a Real Estate company sell its office without causing confusion?

That's what MLS#'s are for.

Do dentists go to other dentists or do they just do it themselves?

Judging by my personal lack of ability to do anything to myself (braid hair, apply nail polish, etc) I would assume dentists visit their partner dentists or bravely let their med-interns do the work.

If you were to get drunk in a country where the drinking limit is under 21, and went to the states and were still over the limit, could they arrest you for underage drinking even though you did not do the drinking in the states?

They can arrest you for drunk in public, and probably underage drinking as well since "burden of proof" is more like "suggestion of proof-like things" these days.

Why do people think that swaying their arm back and forth would change the direction of a bowling ball? If girls with large breasts work at Hooters, then do girls with one leg work at IHOP?

Who's to say? IHOP is the Walmart of the restaraunt world. No really. The last time I went we were seated next to a table of crazies. I got to hear all about how this girl's exboyfriend/baby-daddy is a drug addict, and how he always runs to his friend Rachel when he has a problem, and how his friends are all bad news, and he still doesn't have a job and blah blah blah blah. OMG. But I love pancakes for dinner, so what's a poor girl like me to do? Oh yeah, cook at home, right.

If pro and con are opposites, wouldn't the opposite of progress be congress?

No, actually. The root of con in the word congress comes from the spanish word for together or with, con. The opposite of progress is regress, or retrogress. You could also digress which is neither here nor there, but is diverged off to the side somewhere.

Why does grape flavor smell the way it is when actual grapes don't taste or smell anything like it?

That's the second question mark I've had to edit in. I don't think grape flavor/smell is all that unlike grapes. It smells a lot like natural grape juice. MMM delicious.

Is it rude for a deaf person to talk (sign) with their mouth full of food?

Is it rude for you to give some one the finger with your mout full of food? Oh wait... Well you get my point.

If its 11:30 PM Dec 31 in Texas and 12:30 AM Jan 1st in New York and you have a New York driver's license that expires Jan 2007, does that mean your license has expired?

Yes. No Texas police officer is going to give you a break on that one. The most leniency he will show is to call it a pre-emptive citation.

What's the difference between normal ketchup and fancy ketchup?

The quality of tomatoes and the taste are different.

If a transvesite goes missing, would youu put their face on a carton of Half and Half?

Me personally? No. I wouldn't know how to go about getting that done. Besides that, very few people use half and half anyways so it wouldn't be a great advertising mechanism. I know I know, that wasn't the question... Many transvestites are not transgender, they just like different clothing. I'd be a transvestite if my large breasts could fit into those tight button down shirts men get to wear all the time without makign the buttons pop open. For now, I'll just be stuck with polo shirts I guess.

Why is the Lone Ranger called 'Lone' if he always has his Indian friend Tonto with him?

Cuz he liked to be alone. He just barely tolerates Tonto. I mean jeeze, can't you tell by the fact that he calls him by the Spanish word for "Stupid" that he'd rather Tonto buggered off?

Are eyebrows considered facial hair?

Is it on your face? I'm going to go with yes, but usually people are referring to hair around the mouth and just say facial hair because either

1) they don't know the word for beard/gotee/mustache/sideburns/etc or

2) they don't want to use the above words in case they offend anyone with them.

If a baby's leg pops out at 11:59PM but his head doesn't come out until 12:01, which day was he born on?

Uhhh what day did you say it was when the clock turned 12:01? It would be that day, though. I don't know about you but I am sure I wouldn't consider my child fully delivered if just his legs were sticking out. Jeeze, what a horrible thing that would be if it just stopped there, and the nurses were all like "congratulations on your second pair of legs!" Shudder.

At The Risk of Being Whiney and Horribly Inappropriate

2009-06-17T13:41:00.000-07:00

OMG is summer over yet??? Or is it at least Friday?
I used to love summers - when I wasn't working. I could play video games all day and read all night and just generally avoid the crispiness that comes from being translucent and outside in Texas.

No longer - This summer is starting out as just hellacious. My coworker is on maternity leave, my grandmother's doctor has her scheduled for death, I have to be a bridesmaid in a wedding ( I really don't like being bridesmaid, but I had 5 in my wedding so it's just karma, right? only 2 more times to go), the weedeater broke and is still not back from the shop after 2 months, the lawnmower is finally fixed but had been broken, the garage door spring broke and isn't fixed yet, and the car just got a completely F-d up tire because of a peice of wood. Had you heard of a tire being punctured by a peice of F-ing wood before? Cuz now you have. I may post a pic later. I had to do jury duty on monday, and I have all kinds of rediculou---wonderful! team building things to do this summer cuz it's 'off season' unless you're covering for your missnig coworker.

Oh and we started a home improvement project that I am worried about funding, and I just really would love to crawl in a hole until at least the bathroom is done or if possible all the way until August 10, then the wedding will be over, the funeral will be over, the coworker will be back, and the husband will have fixed all the broken shi---stuff.

Seriously I'm just so wound up right now. As an example of proof of this: Monday I came home from work, and turned to go down our hallway. The lights were off. In the dark with my bad eyesight, I saw my cat right in front of me. I stopped to pet her, but she started growing and mutating into a monste---dog. It was actually my dad's dog I had seen, and she was at the end of the hallway. She didn't grow, she got closer and didn't mutate into a monster. I screamed bloody murder though before I figured it out. The damn dog just looked at me funny and didn't bother to comfort me at all. Man's best friend p-shaw. At least MY dog is nice and is the same size as my cat, so I never have to worry about him mutating. Yeah and hubby wasn't all that comforting either.. He thought I had seen a 'big' spider and wasn't really fazed by my death wail at all. I mean, I gave it my all with that wail. I kinda expect everyone to start running around with a purple gif hanging over their heads and maybe even to fall through the world. (WoW Ref).

The worst part is even Semptember won't be much better with all the holiday shi---stuff going on and prepping for the end of the year and family spontaneously becoming all needy and whiney and pretend-neglected... Ugh. I really really really just want it to be like over. Let's have a year where we don't have to have everything break in the summer then spend every minute of the winter in a guilt trip. Let's do that, soon, please?

Are you Serious??? Part 2

2009-06-17T09:14:00.000-07:00

An elementary school has it's fifth graders do a mural project with dominos. The picture for their mural is the current president. They had a group of people from the local college come to help them with the math involved in figuring out which dominos to put where. Of all the really neat things the kids learned in this project, the biggest thing they're about to learn is that the internet is for porn and completely off topic ranting.

All the comments on this news site mentions the current events and either bash Obama, or bash Obama haters.

That is so silly! We are at a time where our education system is rock bottom of the world and we desperately need some intelligent person to come up with a new strategy for education and get it straightened out. So instead of congratulating the teachers who come up with innovative ways to get kids involved with adults and get adults involved with kids, and get everyone learning about math, art, and teamwork all at the same time, we are going to bash the teachers for their choice in pictures. While we're at it let's discuss policies, on this site, where these kids are unfailingly going to visit to see what their teachers/college friends said. Oh, and to be as patriotic as possible, let's also start complaining about conspiracy theories involving schools brainwashing chlidren to vote socialist when they grow up. Omg. Srsly? I feel so bad for those kids right now, and have as much sympathy for the teachers as well.

http://www.wwlp.com/dpp/news/local/wwlp_local_studentscreateanobaminoesmural_200906161745

I don't care how you feel about Obama. If you can't look at a project done by fifth graders without seeing it as an affront/affirmation to your personal politics you have some F-ing serious problems. Seek help.

Are You Serious?

2009-06-17T08:20:00.000-07:00

One of the articles in CNN's Living section today was written by a person from The Frisky.
It discusses why sometimes *women* deserve to be cheated on.
http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/06/17/tf.is.cheating.ever.deserved/index.html

The argument given is that when a wife breaks her vow of being disrespectufl, she deserves it if her husband breaks his vow to be faithful.

Uhh... Yeah and while we're at it, let's forget bathing, forget indoor plumbing. Hell, forget every tool more advanced than a sharp stick! Eye for an eye. Great idea.

Dumbasses.

I Give it a 7 Out of 10 on The Randomness Scale

2009-06-15T13:27:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was pure awesomeness. We played cards and games all day, and of course, we ate. We went to a "fancy" resteraunt in Arkansas. I live in the Dallas area, and when I can afford/beg my parents to buy dinner for me, I like to go to the Addison places. Which are amazing, any Dallas-ite will tell you. I also work in downtown in a skyscraper. The 48th floor of my building is a special club/reteraunt where our bosses sometimes take us for celebrations and interviews. I'm a little bit jaded about the whole "fancy resteraunt" thing is what I'm getting at.
So while this is a fancy place for Arkansas, they had a peice of paper over the nice white tablecloth, and their wait staff didn't pull the chairs out for us, and the service in general was a little less than superior. But my parents enjoyed it, so that's what matters right?
I bet you can guess that I did not enjoy it. Like I said, I am Jaded, and Spoiled. I ordered the spaghetti bolognase. The flavor text under the menu item said "linguini served with a hearty meat sauce". Oh boy, it was hearty alright. It was barbeque. I was served barbeque spaghetti. It was pretty gross. Also, Dallas establishments LOVE spending $$$$ on AC. If you go anywhere else in the South (Tennessee, Arkansas) they like to save their money when it comes to AC. That resteraunt was hot. And it took like 30 minutes from the coffee to when they brought the bill. Ugh.

The rest of the weekend was great though. The dog was good, no accidents. The games were fun. There was a Dear Abby NCIS Marathon on USA that we watched while my mom kicked my butt at Skipbo. Don't pity me. Later that day I kicked SOOO much butt at pinochle that I had to call Spades trump and throw away a run in Diamonds of which I had 9 Diamonds to keep my double pinochle. Yeah, they didn't feel bad for me about that either!

Another thing I'm completely spoiled by is my mattress. My husband and I were both given queen beds when were about 12 to 14. We got used to the room. When we got married, we purchased a tempurpedic king size mattress. We LOVE it! It's as comfy today as it was 4 years ago. However, my parents do not have a tempurpedic king size guest bed. Pat and I kick each other, and are pushed to the middle of the bed, and we're just not that great at cuddling mid-dream. I woke up with a ton of pain in my right shoulder. I still have a hard time reaching for things with my right hand. It's painful. I think I'll recover after 2 more advil dosages and another night on a good mattress. It's good to be home.

Except that it's HOT at work today. Not sure why, but I am dying. 1 more hour til I can jump on the Dallas Transit system that they (guess guess) over-do the AC on cuz Dallas people love to spend $$$ on AC. But right now my office is Hot. My scissors look so tempting. I could give myself a hair cut and be sooo much cooler. They just grew puppy dog eyes (the scissors). No, No, Bad Aludra!
Sigh.
I may not be so hot if I hadn't spent 30 min outside trying to figure out how to get from the courthouse back to my office. Jury duty is honorable and necessary and a great place to sit in the AC and read/nap if you are homeless. I am reading the 4th book in the Dresden Files. OMG I love this series. I won't say anything more in case you haven't read it. But Jim Butcher consistantly surprises me with how amazing he is at story telling and humor. I guess that's just 1 more reason to look forward to my public transportation commute! Less driving more reading (and AC).

So as random as this post was I think it had a little Stream of Conciousnes flow to it. Shiny.

Weekend Trips

2009-06-12T10:13:00.000-07:00

I am excited. I am going to leave work sometime between 4 and 5:30 and then head out to Arkansas and visit my mom and grandma. I really like being up there. There's just something so comforting about being with family.
Last time we went, we let our dog stay with some friends who are essentially the reason we have a dog. They got a corgy pup about a year ago, and we got to watch her grow up over the summer and through football season and I really wanted one, too. I finally convinced Pat that I could help take care of the dog enough so it wouldn't be all on him. After all, I read 2 books on the subject so that made me pro, right? It turns out he was right, he does most of the work with the dog. But now we have a corgy pup, and Pat even let me name him Gaussie after my favorite mathematician, Carl Friedrich Gauss. (Geek Alert) YAY. So Gauss stayed with Kahlua, his full blood sister from a different litter, and that rhymed, and he had a great time.
But in the 48 hours we were gone, I missed that little 'thingy'. I call him "my favorite little thingy" because I got tired of calling him kitty-puppy-thingy and just shortened it to thingy. So we're taking him with us this weekend! And for the first time since before Christmas, I get to be the only one visiting this weekend. So we get to be a lot more laid back, and just eat and play cards. Just in general I'm excited.
Also I just got an assignment at work that is "mathy" and I may get to use some tricks that I learned senior year of college, so I'm gonna get focused on that now.
Life doesn't suck.

ROFL

2009-06-12T10:07:00.000-07:00

On cnn.com you can see why I am r o f l ing. They have a TV Show 'The Situation Room' and the episode called 'Palin's Perceptive' is coming out. It's funny on so may levels. Wow.

Lunch - I hate it ?

2009-06-08T11:31:00.000-07:00

It's 1:30 local time. I haven't eaten lunch. Why? I wasn't hungry. I was doing stuff, etc etc.
Do I eat lunch now at 1:30 and look like the loser of the office, or do I starve myself til dinner for the 3rd time in a week?
Why can't I just be a normal person and get hungry at 11:30...
I really do enjoy eating. But it's so awkward -(_,)O to eat lunch this late with people coming by my office, calling while my mouth is full, and asking me questions while my recently frozen dinner is steaming in my face.

I am just going to eat a bag of chips and have a coffee later. Dinner better be F-ing amazing though.

Drama Update

2009-06-04T10:24:00.000-07:00

Grandma is still doing pretty well. Which is great! She doesn't have enough energy to shop, or play cards, or clean house anymore, but she's alert, out of bed, and very social still.
Mom is starting to get super worn out / stressed from cleaning two houses, feeding 4 to 10 people a weekend, and working part time.

I was up there this weekend to help mom clean her house and give her a helping hand with food/shopping etc. I'm an only child so I've never had to try to avoid the 'suckup' image. Which is good, because it's taught me to be a contributing member in the things I do. I try to always put as much time and effort into meals that I eat as the rest of the family does and things like that. At least, when it's home cooked. I have no issues with the husband making a run to Wendy's with only our pupper for company.

Ok there's a reason it's called Tangential to Aludra. Me and Tangents, we're close.

We were making soup for lunch, enough to feed 9, and chatting. My family is good at chatting. Talking about everything: foods we like, the next DIY project for our houses, the future, vacations, retirement, etc. It's one of the things I'll really miss about Grandma. She's the best chatter ever. Never a mean word, but never a boring moment. She's just awesome. I really hope I get to have another weekend like that. I wish I thought I had the energy to go up again this weekend, but I got a summer cold (haha it's so hot here already, that makes no sense) and I really just need to rest this weekend. Next weekend is Mom's birthday so we'll definitely head up then.

WoW Life:
I quit the guild and got my druid from 70 to 74. I am still debating on joining a guild or starting my own. When I left the guild, I got 5 people whispering me about "why did you leave?"
I had 2 answers:

For the majority of the guild I answered "I am not able to raid that late at night, and I'm tired of certain people who it's no secret that I disliked." (The guild leader is not one of those who I disliked openly)

For the small part of the people that I respect enough not to lie to I answered "I am not able to raid that late, and I'm tired of how the guild leader treats me like I'm the cause of all of his problems, it trickles down to the rest of the guild members who treat me like crap, and he doesn't care and I'm done with him."

I used to really care about the guild, and I tried to help keep it to it's original purpose: Provide a safe place for families to play. The following examples all have more to them, but I might froth at the mouth thinking about the details of the injustices of these things.
So when people started using guild chat to tell racist jokes, and sexist jokes, and just disgusting dead baby jokes, and I complained which caused drama, who was the bad member? Me of course.
When the guild decided we need to be more selective on who can raid, and kicked someone's son from the raid after harassing him about being low dps, who complained and was blamed for drama? Me.
When one of said jokesters who is an A-hole quit the game, who cheered? Me. Who got offended? Not the jokester who left. Who caused drama? Not me this time. (No really not me, surprisingly). Who got blamed? Me.

Yep. I'm so done with that guy. He can deal with the drama that won't stop just cuz I left without my help.

But I'm thinking about starting a guild. I would be a good guild leader I think. I can keep to purpose. I have no problem kicking people out. I have no problem defending values of the guild. And I wouldn't have more than like 15 people anyways since we'd only do 10 mans. I think if I did start a guild, that some of those 5 people who whispered me would want in. And they're not jerks.

So now I need a guild name.

My husband thinks "That 10 Man Raid Group" would be good. I'd like something shorter.

So either I'll come up with something shorter, or I'll get a ginvite to the 10 man guild I know people in. I just need to get online and talk to them.

Thoughts Pondered By a Smartass #2

2009-06-04T09:56:00.000-07:00

I enjoyed doing this the first time, so here is another set of questions.

Why doesn't McDonald's sell hotdogs?
Because there is going to be issues when they try to come up with a weiner-character.

At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?
All the arm rests are belong to me. None for you! Actually, whichever one your arm is on, usually you can also pre-claim it by setting your candy or coke in the holder.

What is Satan's last name?
It's the same as God's.

Why do doctors leave the room when you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Because this is America Damnit! Even if he is about to do the 'procedure' he still doesn't need to know that my undies have like 6 holes in them from when the dog got them, and I refuse to replace 1 month old undies.

Where does the toetag go on a dead person if they don't have toes?
I'm pretty sure they have found a better method of keeping track of bodies than toetags by now. There must be an app for that.

If your driving a federal owned car, and you run a stop sign, is it considered a felony?
Not if your license says "exempt". Although, it is a felony to steal federal property or tamper with it. So I guess it depends on if you actually have permission from the government to use said car.

Why is there a disclaimer on the Allstate Auto Insurance commericals that says "Not available in all states"?
It's not called "Allstates" is it? It's called "Allstate". The irony would be if the commercial said "not available in all of the state".

If you dug a hole through the center of the earth,and jumped in, would you stay at the center because of gravity?
Provided the feasability of it all, you'd stay there because you are dead. The amount of atmospheric pressure at the center of the earth is immense, not to mention the heat. You'd be incinerated and then go through the same process the rest of the material at the center of the earth goes through.

If a person dies and then springs back to life, do they get their money back for the coffin?
No. Do you get your money back for ANYTHING except movie tickets these days?

If you are asked to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and your the main witness, what if you say "no"?
If you say 'no', you are a horrible person for impeding justice and anything they did to you afterwards would be justified. Except torture. Cuz it's just wrong.

Do they bury people with their braces on?
I would very much think not. They usually do all sorts of primping and clothes changing, I don't see why they'd make you be buried with braces on, unless you like wanted that or something.

WTT

2009-05-28T11:30:00.000-07:00

WTT Ipod charger for a cookie.

I miss having a charged Ipod.

/sad face.

Also, I miss playing wow, if that wasn't obvious from the above lingo.

But I hesitate to start again.

I've been clean for like 3 weeks now. I could probably make some $$ off of my account. These are both tempting reasons to stay clean for good.

But, I have tempting reasons to play.

1) It's fun
2) I have the time if I can set down the Dresden Files series for like a minute or two
3) My family plays
4) My gnome is seriously the cutest little bits of 1's and 0's ever created.
5) Mages are hawt atm.
6) I want to lvl my druid. New skins woo!
7) One of the really annoying people in the guild is finally quitting!@!!

Every guild has them. The people who are rude, and crass, and on ignore 90% of the time, but still haven't managed to get gkicked. We have one I'll call him A0 for A-hole. A's friends have mostly left the game also, but they still forum troll on the guild forums. Making them extremely annoying to me. Technically - they haven't left the guild and therefore - can't be removed from forums. So they say "bye" on the forums. Now I have to give A0 credit for knowing he's an A-hole. Cuz when I replied to his "I quit" thread with "YAY! I mean... yeah, I mean yay!", he wasn't remotely offended cuz he knows he's an A-hole. His 12 buddies, though, they were offended for him. That I do not get =/ They get on my F-ing Nerves! UGH.

I'm considering a gquit. Now, you, my most beloved reader, may not find this such a horrible idea as I do. My mom is in this guild, so is my husband. I've played this game (too much) for 4 years. My /played is probably close to 6mo if not more if you add up all my toons. In those 4 years, there's very few people I have played with the whole time. There's almost no chance they'll ever see this blog so I'll just go ahead and initialize their names. There's T, TJ, A, J, and a newer player who I quite adore as a person, A2 all in that guild as well! I less-than-3 them, they are my friends, and I've met them IRL multiple times.

But!!! Here's why I may gquit: The aforementioned annoying people, A0 and his friends. There's also all the newbies taht we keep recruiting because we are trying to fill a 25 man raid. Now dont get me wrong. I don't dislike new players, as evidenced by A2. But sersly? Do you really need me to tell you how to find Hogger when there's soooo many wow info sites?
Then there's the fact that A is difficult to have fun with when he is trying to lead a guild. TJ hardly plays anymore. J and A2 won't hate me, they guild swap frequently as well. The guild I'd go to actually raids, at hours that don't suck for Central time zone-ers. They do 10 mans (which I love and I really don't like 25 mans). And it's with a group of people I used to play with back in Year 1. I am tempted to beg and steal a guild slot for my mother so she can come with but I doubt she'd be up for it. (She is of thetraditional generation.) So I'd have to guild swap without her.

**(Tangent) http://wsd.dli.mt.gov/local/missoula/msoguide/chapter2_pg7.asp This is a link to an article about the traditional vs emergent workforce and their values.***

But leaving my mom, may be too hard. Sigh.

But she knows I love her right?
Just because we won't have the same family name in a game, doesn't mean I'm abandoning her, right?

Hmm.
I really would like my ipod. So much easier to focus at work with muzix.

Kakuro Haiku

2009-05-28T10:54:00.001-07:00

I love kakuro!
It is my favorite thing
to keep my mind sharp.

:)

The Serial Killer Question

2009-05-28T10:43:00.001-07:00

If you haven't heard this before, prepare to be amazed!!

A guy did a research paper on serial killers, giving each of them a questionaire to see when they answered similarly.
One question was answered the same way by each killer in his research group.
The question has a backstory as follows:
A woman is at her father's funeral. A man shows up to it whom she does not recognize. He is freindly and charming and she likes him. But OOPS! She forgot to get his name! So, the question is this:
What does she do?

I will post the answer that the killers gave in a comment, so you won't have it given away to you too quickly. Think hard, what do you think she'd do?

Also, yes this is the question from 30Rock.

Thoughts Pondered by a Smart Ass

2009-05-27T10:41:00.000-07:00

Teachermommy linked to a website with interesting thoughts to ponder. Here's the ones that made it to her blog. With my smart ass answers in italics.

How far east can you go before you're heading west?

You never head west if you're heading east. Duh? You only head west when you decide to turn around, and that's totally up to you.

Why is it that everyone driving faster than you is considered an idiot and everyone driving slower than you is a moron?

Considering everyone to be anything is to make a generalization and only morons or idiots do that. So stop being a moron and get the F out of my way.

If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

Yes. They're certainly not innocent of it, now are they?

When does it stop being partly cloudy and start being partly sunny?

When you put your sunglasses on b/c you can't see anymore.

If ghosts can walk through walls and glide down stairs, why don't they fall through the floor?

Because they're imaginary.

What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?

Umm... Sell them both on EBAY.

How can something be "new" and "improved"? If it's new, what was it improving on?

If it's been improved how is it possibly the same product? Therefore since it has changed, it is new.

If, in a baseball game, the batter hits a ball splitting it right down the center with half the ball flying out of the park and the other half being caught, what is the final ruling?

The final ruling is death by sword to the idiot who used a sword as a bat in a baseball game.

The End.

Money

2009-05-22T09:29:00.000-07:00

There's another article today (in Money) about "controlling your spouses spending". Maybe I am the opposite of a control freak, because I just had to ask my husband NOT to get his hair cut or buy a tube for his bicycle tire until Wednesday so I could make sure we came out the other side of this weekend in the black. I didn't like telling him to be careful. It kills me everytime he plans out a day of taking care of stuff (fixing the bike, getting a haircut, making the tri-monthly Sam's run) and I have to ask him not to. I know he won't have time next week, but we might not have money this week. It's really hard. Who WANTS to be in control of spending? It's hard and it sucks.
One of the suggestions they made was about seperate spending accounts. My husband and I share an account. It makes sense for us. He doesn't have a job. I do. I could give him an "allowance", but that's really rude imo. It's like saying "here, you don't help support us financially, so here's your measley sum for the week/month". It's like putting a value on what he does for me, which is invaluable. It just wouldn't work for us right now to do seperate accounts.
For other people the only way to go is to have joint accounts.
I know of a guy that used to work at this company who was at the company christmas party with his wife. His wife was talking to some of the girls, and they said to her "Man the christmas bonus was really helpful this year" and the wife was like "What bonus?" Her husband had been keeping a fairly large portion of his income secret from her (it's like at least 20% of our income is from bonuses). So she made him buy her a house in the country to make up for the secrecy. Craziness. I dont want to end up like that. Call me nosy but I'd like to know how much my husband makes.
But every other couple I know of has seperate accounts and it works for them. So I'm seriously considering having him get a seperate account when he (finally) finishes school and (finally) gets a job. But right now, he doesn't really do much outside the house that I don't get told about. Like today, he said "I'm going to run to sams, get my haricut, and get a tube" and I said "Wait, can you wait 'til Wednesday?" And he said "Ok". So it's not an issue really, I tell him when we have money, and he keeps me updated on our household needs for me to budget. But when he has a job, he may not have time to do these errands twice in 2 weeks, and it may make more sense for him to have his own account. It's just something I'm tossing around right now, but it's not really relevant until 2 yrs from now. Sigh. Being the lone-provider is not so stress-free. I dislike control, and I dislike making tough financial decisions, and I HATE saying no to my husband. I hate it :(

Update on the Invisible Bugs

2009-05-21T09:48:00.000-07:00

Turns out it's just a side effect of having astigmatism. Which explains why the bugs are only ever to my left since the astimatism is only in my left eye. Yay to my friend J for letting me know this is not a symptom of my insanity.

In The News

2009-05-21T09:21:00.000-07:00

There's always articles in the news that kind of get to me. Usually they're the articles in the "Living" section.

Like this one from Thursday:

http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/05/21/o.having.emotional.affair/index.html

It's about people having non-sexual affairs that are still betrayals of their partner. And it's true. And I don't think it even has to be with a person of the opposite sex. Your partner should be just that, a partner. If you can't talk to them about issues, and get their help with the needs you have, they're not a very good partner for you anymore.

But this article is about if you CHOOSE to get help elsewhere for your neeeds, that your partner usually helps you with, you are not meeting your end of the bargain. I'm talking about all the kinds of needs here, not just sexual. When you first started dating your partner, you called them about everything, the funny movie you just saw, the dead animal in the road that looked just like your cat, the bad day you had, and to flirt. When you start using a different person as an outlet for any of these things, it can be painful for your partner.

'Just be aware' is all I really want to say. I'm also not saying you shouldn't have friends. But your partner should still be amused by your account of the movie, the dead animal, and comfort you about the bad day, and responsive to your flirt, so why not tell him/her about these things, too?

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I am also annoyed about the whole Torture thing. I don't really understand where the gray area is, and how it could possibly be helpful to 'protect our country'. I also dont understand why it would be a good idea to release photos of it. My grandmother always said "Don't air your dirty laundry" and this is good advice for family problems, and for our country's problems. Wash your dirty laundry, don't hange it in your front yard. Duh? I think the media is just having a hay day with this, and I sometimes wish they were more accountable for the fear they spread, and for the annoyances that they cause. I support the 1st amendment don't get me wrong, but there is something broken with the system. The media keeps the politicians 'accountable', (Not really, they fail miserably at it) so who will keep the media accountable? The TV Stations? Not likely. The public? Not gonna happen. It's broken and it sucks.

The education system also sucks, but I won't get started on that.
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Weird Words

2009-05-19T13:54:00.000-07:00

You know those terribly annoying sales calls, the ones where it's painfully obvious they hadn't even seen your name until you picked up the phone? I got one of those. My name is not hard to pronounce. 3 syllables for both first and last name. (My RL Name is not Aludra fyi) It's a very easy name. Comparable to the standard: Jane Doe. Creepily comparable in fact. In any case they butchered it. I used to have a complicated last name before I got married and I hadn't heard my name butchered this badly since my last name changed. (One of the incentives of marriage was the good excuse to change my name.)
Obviously this guy calling me is in no way someone I've contacted before. So I assume (yes I know what happens when you assume) that he has no business with me. I tell him "Nope she's not here, can I take a message?" (yep, i add 'p's to my negs and affs) OF COURSE, there's no message, he'll call back. UGH. So now I don't know if I should just answer the phone next time and be myself, or

**Tangent** BTW, I'm listening to Cake right now, Symphony in C specifically. I really like the guitar and it's amazing similarities to The Eagles' Hotel California guitar.**end Tangent **

tell him to stop calling my number. I hate taking calls from people that don't know me or aren't someone I do business with. But I'm not as bad as a friend of mine. If she doesn't have the # stored into her phone she DOESN'T answer. Not even if she does know you just not the #!! She has a weird fear of talking to people she doesn't know. I had to call in subs for her on the phone system back when we were both teachers. It's beyond silly. Now that she has a house, she's getting better. You can only live with leaks and AC problems for so long before you get over it and call the repair people.

My post is really a question about words.

I was telling Pat about this phone call and mentioned that 'my name isn't even that complicated any more.' This was in an email. I then erased 'any more' and changed it to 'anymore'. The auto-spell checker in Outlook liked both. Which is correct? Both? What about ever-more? Never-more? Any-time? I have always been curious about these things.

Weekend Update

2009-05-18T12:05:00.000-07:00

I have been MIA from the interwebs this weekend. I went to visit my grandmother who has pancreatic cancer. It's fortunately not causing her a lot of pain but the doctor is giving her less than a month left. She is still refusing the pain meds, but is having bloating and.. you really don't want to know the details.

Anyways, she's dying. That's still hard to admit to myself. I think my mother, her daughter, is still in denial since grandma is still active, helping with cooking and playing cards, driving herself to church, etc. Grandma however is in whatever the opposite of denial is. (The amazon? get it, 'da Nile, the Amazon oh nvm) She's started asking mom "When would be a good time?" (for her to pass). And she's being very detailed about planning her funeral. She's writing the program herself. Creepy? Yeah. She's where I get my morbid tendancies.

Fortunately, my mother semi-retired two years ago (another post later) and is living 4 houses down from my grandmother. This gives them both privacy while allowing mom to help grandma whenever is needed. But they are both 6 hours away from me and I can't help feeling I should be there, not at work. I'm at peace with my grandmother being about to pass. I know she'll go to Heaven, she's the most classy and kind lady I've ever met and I am not sure she's ever missed a church sermon. I feel like my mother will lose it sometime between the passing and the funeral. I need to be there for her. I won't get to be.

We had a good weekend, though. Mom and I successfully avoided mentioning this may be my last visit with grandma, and she seemed to enjoy everyone's company so it was nice. We learned a bit more about what to expect in the next month. The funeral will be in Michigan. I don't have the vacation time to make the 2 day drive up there and back + actual time there. My husband of 4 years is officially considered a "grandson". (I am the only grandchild to have married and stay that way for more than a matter of months so far, but one of my cousins got married a month ago, and he is still "honeymooning") This means that he is going to be a pallbearer. So he has to go too, but hates flying. So I get to fly, Pat gets to drive up with my mom, and the dog will just have to find someone to love him for a time. The cat will fend for herself as per usual.

------------------------------------------------------

On the less morbid side of things, my coworker has had her baby girl this weekend. She and her daughter are healthy. The girl was 7 pounds 2 ounces, and is adorable, I am sure. I would have loved to visit her this morning but uhh.. she's my coworker so I have to help pick up the slack at the office. No hookey for me.

I don't know if you got to watch SNL this weekend, but it was pretty hilarious. Amy Pohler (spell check?) was back on for Weekend Update and it was great. They did another celebrity Jeopardy skit. I was in tears.

I want life to be 'normal' again. No funerals, no weddings, no babies. Just me, family, WoW, TV, Books and work (but only a third not half of the team's load).

Sorry the post was so random today, I should not have stayed up til 1AM working on this project that isn't due til tomorrow after all. fudge. I need sleep.

I really should take TM's advice and get my eyes checked. It's rediculously cheap on this insurance I have, but I think I will put it off until my coworker is back from maternity-work. (They shouldn't call it maternity-leave, I feel confident I've had more sleep than she has, and will continue to do so for about 3 yrs).

And I want to do a million other things I'm afriad to plan because as my boss says, "If you set your mind to something, the universe will conciously rearrange itself to get in your way." He's a physicist, he'd know. I really ought to start saying "Dammit Jim, I'm a mathematician, not a physicist!" at random times. His name is Jim I think. Or maybe James. It's confusing. Or maybe I'm just bad with names since I don't know my own MIL's last name.

Ok back to work. or sleep. still a toss-up.

The Case of The Invisible Bugs

2009-05-14T11:50:00.001-07:00

I am one of the blessed few who managed to get a real office with their job. It comes standard at the company I work at so it doesn't make me special at work, just special in general. Well we've always known that I'm special but yeah. Another special thing about my office aside from the walls, and the door, and the sweet furniture is the dual monitor set up. I Heart It.

You see, when I am working I go back and forth between the two monitors and sometimes use my (horrible) peripheral vision to look at the other screen and watch for pop-ups like Email, "Your file finally wrote" notices, and etc. Sometimes when these notices pop up, I focus my vision on them and then out of my (again, horrible) peripheral vision a HUGE seriously like has to be 5" long black bug flies accross my office to the wall in front of me. Only when I look up from my computer screens, there's no bug.

Seriously.. WTH? I will eventually find these bugs. Until then I just kind of whimper. I say nothing to my coworkers for fear that they'll send me to the looney house. I mentioned it to hubby one day, and he looked at me funny. Am I crazy? Or are there invisible bugs in my office that are trying to mess with me? Cuz it's not funny any more buggies! I will keeel you!

<3 Music

2009-05-14T08:30:00.000-07:00

I had forgotten how soothing music is to my mind. So much easier to focus.

*Contented Sigh*

A Relevation On Marriage

2009-05-13T18:08:00.000-07:00

Hehe. Everytime I read the word "marriage" my inner monologue voice pronounces it as "mawwage" ala the priest from Princess Bride.

Anyways, you didn't click on my post to listen(read?) about how to pronounce the word, you were curious about my relevation.

So the other day - and by 'the other day' I mean 'last night'... Why is it that people, and by 'people' I mean 'me', always say "the other day" when they might even mean just "earlier this morning" or "6 weeks ago"? This phrase has lost all accuracy with me. End Tangent. Begin Story.

So last night, I was speaking with my husband about how great it will be when he graduates and gets a job and we're on the same page of life as it were. He then pointed out to me in his wisdom - don't ask me why HE gets to be wiser and YOUNGer than I am at the same time. It's not fair - He points out that 2 people are never on the exact same page of Life, and while we may be in the same chapter at that point, it won't be the same page. I thought that was fairly enlightening and encouraging. Who wants to be on the same page anyways? How boring that would make marriage (hehe). Challenges and differences are where the fun is at, if you don't forget to have a sense of humor.

First Post Evar

2009-05-13T16:51:00.000-07:00

This is my first real honest try at blogging.
I have a facebook.
I have a myspace.
I refuse to take either of them seriously.

You'll have to forgive me if I drop off the face of the earth after you had managed to find me somehow and if you actually - against all odds - - and I know the odds, I majored in Math - enjoyed my writing.

I promise you I started this blog with the most innocuous intentions of simply having somewhere to let my craziness go.

Thanks for reading!
<3
Aludra