This post is so short, It could have been a Tweet!

It took me until July 17, 2009 to realize that when I type "7-17-09", the "-09" are all in a row on the keyboard.

I Wish I Had A Better Excuse

Man. I am so out of it today. I mean I'm usually out of it, but not this bad. I went to the midnight release of HP: HBP and it was great and I had a great time with my friends and I don't regret it. But you know how when you're tired and you blink your eyes get stuck on 'closed' for a little too long. Yearh, I'm at that point and it's only 11:24 AM. Not good.

I guess I'm old. Fortunately my face doesn't show it. I have no baggy/bloodshot eyes, my complexion is it's usual texture and color, and everything is normal. I managed to wake up after 4 hours of sleep, shower, take meds, dress nice, etc and get to work ON TIME! Amazing. So the only person here at work who has a clue that I'm too exhausted to think straight is myself.

Recently I've started actually drinking enough water which is causing me to use the restroom as often as is 'normal' or about 7 times a day, 4 times of which are at work. So that's like every 2 hours or so. Which means I'm extremely practiced at it. I could do the steps in my sleep.

Grab digital door key
walk to the door to exit the office
press the little red button that releases the lock
walk through the lobby and down the hall to the resteroom (20 steps ish)
pick a stall
clip digital door key to the little hook in the stall
commence releif
hook door key back on shirt
wash hands
walk back to door of main office area.
use door key
enter door
get back to personal office
remove door key from shirt and set on desk.

Dont ask why I put the door key the places I do. I don't know. But today I forgot to press the red button to release the lock, and was pushing on the door and not understanding why it didn't open. Yes, I was spotted, it was embarassing but they said nothing. Then when I was going back to my office, I got to the locked door and found that I had left my key in the stall on the hook. I walked back, got my key, and went back to the door. I couldn't remember how to open it, again. I think maybe for my own safety I should go back to bed.

But HP:HBP was so worth it.

I'm pretty sure - "no." Except for when "yes"

Heisschick over at Technical Support had an interesting post. I hate leaving questions unanswered.

Is being picked for the team but never playing better than quitting?
Yes. Being part of a team is fun! Not getting to play means you also don't get hurt.


Is being in an relationship with someone who doesn't love you better than letting that person go?
No.

Is an email that doesn't say much of anything better than no contact?
Yes. ESPECIALLY if it's from a guy - particularly a guy from our fathers' generation. They just never got the hang of letters. Don't be a hater.

Is a car that requires constant maintenance better than having to take the bus?
Yes. All cars require constant maintenance, don't fool yourself. Take the bus if you like though. It's helpful on maintenance costs.

Is a job you hate better than no job at all?
No. There are other jobs out there, even in this market. Don't lose your sanity/health/relationships over a j-o-b.

Is living in a too small/dirty/noisy apartment better than living with your parents?
No. Living with the 'rents is awesome if they're like mine. I miss them.

Is bad sex better than a dry spell?
No. Painful sex is way worse than a dry spell. Trust me on that.

Is losing weight just from your tits better than not losing any?
Yes. Cuz you can at least wear men's button down shirts and look sleek.

Is a kiss that tastes like another girl better than no kiss?
Depends on if you're into that sorta thing.

Is having the ugly guy hit on you better than paying for your drinks?
Yes. Don't be dull, now.

Tubby Little Cubby All Stuffed With Fluff

I really like A. A. Milne quotes, so I thought I would share some more with you. I have been contemplating what I want to do with this blog in the near future and I have some ideas. So expect some fairly different stuff later on.



"Bother."
I still use 'bother' as an expletive substitute when I'm around my parents.


"I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost. - Tigger"


"“Hallo, Rabbit,” he said, “is that you?” “Let’s pretend it isn’t,” said Rabbit, “and see what happens.”"




"“Oh Tigger, where are your manners?” “I don’t know, but I bet they’re having more fun than I am.”"



""If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together... there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you.”"



""When you wake up in the morning, Pooh," said Piglet at last, "what's the first thing you say to yourself?"
"What's for breakfast?" said Pooh. "What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?" said Piglet.
Pooh nodded thoughtfully. "It's the same thing," he said."



"The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking."




"Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. 'Pooh?' he whispered. 'Yes, Piglet?' 'Nothing,' said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand. 'I just wanted to be sure of you.'"



"Think, think, think."

A quick meme

I know I've not posted in a while. I've been quite busy. I am headed out to visit family in about 45 minutes so I thought I'd do something quick, since I know you are all busy with plans this weekend, too.

1. Where were you 2 hours ago?
Right here, in this chair, clicking-typing-working.

2. What is the first blue item you see?
Like right this second? the blue banner at the top of the browser window.
Like in the day? The first blue thing I see AND actually notice is... the bits of shampoo on the shampoo bottle that drip down there inevitably.

3. Do your prefer use a pen with black or blue ink?
Oh geeze, yes. Just pen please. I'm not picky. I can't stand writing in pencil. And I majored in math. Maybe i'm a masochist deep down.

4. When was the last time you skinny dipped?
Hehe. My Junior year of high school - so about 8 years ago - omg I'm old - My friends and I went skinny dipping in a lake that we live near. And the fishies swam by my ankle and I jumped almost entirely out of the lake. That was hilarious.

5. What did your last text message say?
Friend to Me:"Yeah. I'll set an alarm so I don't forget. I hate forgetting things"
was in response to
Me to Friend: "can you pick me up at 2:30?"
and in my self-loathing subconcious it meant "you suck at remembering things i can't beleive you forgot to bring our friend a CD for her drive to Indiana and you didn't get that book from me and you just really suck". Ok yeah i have issues. I'm working on it, ok?

6. Where is your best friend?
Which one?
My mom is in Arkansas and she's been my best friend for the longest.
My second longest term best friend is in Austin or probably on her way to dallas to visit her parents.
My third longest term best friend is dead :(
My fourth longest term best friend is Patty (husband) and he's in class or else I'll kill him cuz he has a test today.
My fifth longest term best friend is probably sleeping or cleaning, she's picking me up at 2:30 though.
My sixth longest term best friend is driving to Indiana, she should be in the state that is north of Arkansas by now.

What's the point of making a person your friend if they're not going to be the best? That's what I say.

Quotes of The Week

I am an avid fan of books. I love them. I love the way they feel in my hands. I love the way they smell. I love that you can drop them and they don't break. I love that my cat loves them. I love that it's an "appropriate" form of self-distraction in any setting minus work. Books are the Awesome.
Therefore it makes sense that I have a profile on Goodreads.com. I also like to peruse the quotes on said website. I want to share some with you all. I will try to keep to the less mainstream ones, so you won't be just skimming and recognizing everything, but some of my favorites you'll just have to put up with having seen before.

"Two things are infinite: The universe and human stupidity; And I'm not sure about the universe."
~Albert Einstein

"I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
~Marilyn Monroe

"Philosophy [nature] is written in that great book which ever is before our eyes -- I mean the universe -- but we cannot understand it if we do not first learn the language and grasp the symbols in which it is written. The book is written in mathematical language, and the symbols are triangles, circles and other geometrical figures, without whose help it is impossible to comprehend a single word of it; without which one wanders in vain through a dark labyrinth."
~Galileo Galilei

"For every minute you are angry you lose 60 seconds of happiness."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

And I'll leave you off with a so sweet-it's disguisting quote that after we saw Up, my husband actually paraphrased without realising winnnie the poo had said it.

"If you live to be 100, I want to live to be 100 minus 1 day so I never have to live without you."
~A.A. Milne (Winnie-the-Poo)


I hope you enjoyed these!

Thoughts Pondered By a Smartass #3

How does a Real Estate company sell its office without causing confusion?

That's what MLS#'s are for.

Do dentists go to other dentists or do they just do it themselves?

Judging by my personal lack of ability to do anything to myself (braid hair, apply nail polish, etc) I would assume dentists visit their partner dentists or bravely let their med-interns do the work.

If you were to get drunk in a country where the drinking limit is under 21, and went to the states and were still over the limit, could they arrest you for underage drinking even though you did not do the drinking in the states?

They can arrest you for drunk in public, and probably underage drinking as well since "burden of proof" is more like "suggestion of proof-like things" these days.

Why do people think that swaying their arm back and forth would change the direction of a bowling ball? If girls with large breasts work at Hooters, then do girls with one leg work at IHOP?

Who's to say? IHOP is the Walmart of the restaraunt world. No really. The last time I went we were seated next to a table of crazies. I got to hear all about how this girl's exboyfriend/baby-daddy is a drug addict, and how he always runs to his friend Rachel when he has a problem, and how his friends are all bad news, and he still doesn't have a job and blah blah blah blah. OMG. But I love pancakes for dinner, so what's a poor girl like me to do? Oh yeah, cook at home, right.

If pro and con are opposites, wouldn't the opposite of progress be congress?

No, actually. The root of con in the word congress comes from the spanish word for together or with, con. The opposite of progress is regress, or retrogress. You could also digress which is neither here nor there, but is diverged off to the side somewhere.

Why does grape flavor smell the way it is when actual grapes don't taste or smell anything like it?

That's the second question mark I've had to edit in. I don't think grape flavor/smell is all that unlike grapes. It smells a lot like natural grape juice. MMM delicious.

Is it rude for a deaf person to talk (sign) with their mouth full of food?

Is it rude for you to give some one the finger with your mout full of food? Oh wait... Well you get my point.

If its 11:30 PM Dec 31 in Texas and 12:30 AM Jan 1st in New York and you have a New York driver's license that expires Jan 2007, does that mean your license has expired?

Yes. No Texas police officer is going to give you a break on that one. The most leniency he will show is to call it a pre-emptive citation.

What's the difference between normal ketchup and fancy ketchup?

The quality of tomatoes and the taste are different.

If a transvesite goes missing, would youu put their face on a carton of Half and Half?

Me personally? No. I wouldn't know how to go about getting that done. Besides that, very few people use half and half anyways so it wouldn't be a great advertising mechanism. I know I know, that wasn't the question... Many transvestites are not transgender, they just like different clothing. I'd be a transvestite if my large breasts could fit into those tight button down shirts men get to wear all the time without makign the buttons pop open. For now, I'll just be stuck with polo shirts I guess.

Why is the Lone Ranger called 'Lone' if he always has his Indian friend Tonto with him?

Cuz he liked to be alone. He just barely tolerates Tonto. I mean jeeze, can't you tell by the fact that he calls him by the Spanish word for "Stupid" that he'd rather Tonto buggered off?

Are eyebrows considered facial hair?

Is it on your face? I'm going to go with yes, but usually people are referring to hair around the mouth and just say facial hair because either

1) they don't know the word for beard/gotee/mustache/sideburns/etc or

2) they don't want to use the above words in case they offend anyone with them.

If a baby's leg pops out at 11:59PM but his head doesn't come out until 12:01, which day was he born on?

Uhhh what day did you say it was when the clock turned 12:01? It would be that day, though. I don't know about you but I am sure I wouldn't consider my child fully delivered if just his legs were sticking out. Jeeze, what a horrible thing that would be if it just stopped there, and the nurses were all like "congratulations on your second pair of legs!" Shudder.